This essay (.doc) was written by a first year student. It is not presented as any kind of 'model' answer, nor are you asked to evaluate its factual content. The emphasis here relates to the issues covered in this section on Structure.
As you read the essay, you may wish to consider the following:
- effectiveness of the introduction
- the use of evidence and appropriate citation
- cohesion; paragraphing
- clarity: e.g. grammar, punctuation, language choices
- effectiveness of the conclusion
Remember that you are not evaluating the factual content of this essay.
You can access an annotated pdf copy of the Supervisor's feedback on this essay.
Overview: The annotated comments on this essay fall into two categories: Firstly, it is important to state the sources of information used. This applies to the both the arguments themselves and also to any supporting evidence. Secondly, it is important to express your ideas clearly. This means that you have to pay attention to how your arguments are structured, ensuring that there is a logical progression of ideas or information. This also means paying attention to the structure of sentences. Shorter sentences are generally more effective than more complex ones. If you choose to write longer sentences you need to be confident in your use of punctuation, so that the reader does not get lost half way through. Remember that spoken English, which often includes use of conditional or subordinate clauses, is different from more formal, academic written English.
This essay has not been marked for its factual content, i.e., to assess whether the writer demonstrates knowledge and understanding of the topic and the relevant processes linking glaciers and ice sheets to global sea-level rise.